I don’t have
the best any sense of direction. I’m the person that walks into a shop and goes the wrong way when I leave it. It’s not my fault, I can’t help it.
I have no internal compass.
For example, my parents moved house a couple of years ago. I am now able to drive to them without any problems. I know the way. Or rather I know my way. If a road block appeared and we were diverted I honestly think I’d have to turn around and go back home.
Now don’t start harping on about maps. Yes, I know what a map is, I just can’t understand them. And don’t think people haven’t tried to make me understand.
My husband learnt very quickly that shouting “Just read the map! What does the map SAY?!” resulted in a lot of tears from me and a lot of not sex for him.
Is there such a thing as map dyslexia? Because I think I have it.
There was the time he had to direct me home over the phone when I was so lost I’d gone over Waterloo bridge four times… the time I drove round the M25 in completely the wrong direction and ended up having to pay to go through the Dartford tunnel… and the time I drove onto a golf course. Onto the actual green.
It was an accident.
When they invented the Sat Nav I practically jumped for joy. I got mine 8 years ago and have never looked back. Nowadays I will happily drive anywhere, as I know Jane (my Sat Nav voice) will guide me calmly and patiently there. It may not always be the quickest way but it works and that’s all I care about. And what’s more, when I say “I know where I’m going” Jane doesn’t reply with a sarcastic smirk “Really Kim? Like the time you drove onto a golf course”. Pfft!
There’s actually a book, written by a husband and wife team, entitled Why Men Don’t Listen & Women Can’t Read Maps. To be clear, I haven’t read this book but I’m thinking maybe I should. It has a 4 (out of 5) star rating on Amazon. Apparently it’s the new Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.